A Map, Two GPS Devices, and Two Backseat Drivers

November 15, 2015 — Leave a comment

This past Sunday, friends of our daughter-in-law, Shelby, gave a shower for her expected baby girl. The shower was to be held in Goshen, Ky.  As a thorough planner I printed out a “Map-Quest” map and directions to the address given. I studied the map and directions and decided that the only problem I had to look forward too was the construction area at Louisville, Ky.  Louisville is always difficult even when they are not building a new bridge. Every time during the last year we have gone to Louisville the detour and temporary roads have always been a new adventure. No reason to expect anything different for this trip. Just be alert and pay attention to the signs and by the way there is always OnStar!

Sunday arrived and we were taking Linda’s sister Carmen to the shower so it was decided that we would leave early so we could stop and have breakfast at Cracker Barrel. As we travelled south on Us 31 I made the 1st mistake of the day when I asked if we should stop at Taylorsville or go on south to Seymour for breakfast. The co-pilots both said stop at Taylorsville. Not a good answer! The place was packed with folks waiting on their breakfast before a day’s shopping at the outlet mall. It will only be a 15 minute wait the hostess said. About 45 minutes later we were seated and because of the crowd service was somewhat slow but breakfast was great. We resume the expedition south only 30 minutes behind schedule.

The speed rabbit gods were smiling that day because I was running about 80 mph and there was a rabbit passing me about every 5 minutes. Never saw a trooper the whole trip, a good day! We were almost to Scottsburg when the boss asked if we should ask On-Star for guidance and I agreed.  She called up the operator and gave the address we were heading to and the operator said she could not find it. The boss tried again, giving the address very slowly and again the operator said she could not find it. We hung up and in a minute or two we tried again. Eureka, the new operator understood the address and loaded the directions to the car. I really love OnStar because I can understand the male voice and the map on the small dash screen is easy to follow. We are on our way.

We approach the Ohio River bridge at Jeffersonville and the traffic is, as has been the norm forever it seems, comes to an almost standstill. We inch our way across the bridge trying to stay in the right hand lane so we can make the exit to I71N/I64E. We are almost off the bridge and a female voice says turn right in 25 yards. Wow, the OnStar guy must have gone to the “john”. Then the male voice says “turn left” on to I 64E. And I ask what is going on and the boss says, “I asked Google maps on the phone for directions.” “Please” I said. “Turn the phone off” And she tried. And tried. And as we wind our way thru the maze of temporary roads and barricades and signs the voices simultaneously said; (male) Turn left in 25 yards and the (female) voice said turn right in 25 yards and I said, not too pleasantly, will you please turn that damn thing off. And it was too late to turn left! The male voice now says “you have left your planned route. Would you like directions to get back on route?” No! I said.

We wind our way thru the continuing maze like twist and turns to where ever we are going at the moment and like in all detours in construction zones they move the barricades and the roadways but rarely the road signs. I want to know for sure what road I’m on. Finally, a road sign. I64E. Lexington, here we come. Not the planned route.

“Ladies, we are on the wrong road”, I said. The boss replied, “No we’re not.” And the voice from the back seat says, “I knew we were on the wrong road.”  I now explain that we need to figure out how to get onto I71N and out comes the Atlas. Like all good travelers we always have an Atlas and as I have told countless folks, my boss is as good a map reader as you can find anywhere! It only took her a couple of minutes to report that if we continue east we will soon be able to exit on the same road we are to exit on if we were on I71. We have a plan and sure enough we exit and head north and soon cross I71 and the OnStar voice returns and says turn right in 200 yards.

We followed the instructions for another few miles and were greatly relieved when the man from OnStar said, “You have reached you destination.” I parked and the ladies embarked on their afternoon of sharing gifts and stories with the expectant mother to be. We had five minutes to spare so it was a good trip after all. A map, two GPS devices and two back seat drivers; Never lost just a slight detour on the wrong road for a bit.

Thanks for listening.

Richard Isley

Note: This story has been edited and approved by the Boss.

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