I Hope It Doesn’t Happen To Me!

March 27, 2019 — Leave a comment

I have told about my child hood and teenage years and the wonderful times with my grandparents and great grandparents, as well as so many aunts and uncles and great aunts and uncles.  However, there is a story about my dad I need to tell.

Dad only weighed about 3 lbs. when he was born and could not keep his mother’s milk down and grandpa put his 12 or 13 cows in the barn and started milking them one at a time. Taking a sample to the house and pasteurizing the sample on the stove then letting it cool and letting the baby have a sample then waiting and in a few minute up it came.

Back to the barn he went and milked another cow. Again same results, up it came. He had been through all but one cow with no success.  The last cow, old blue, had milk so week that it was almost blue colored .Hence her name.  He almost didn’t try her milk but decided why not! Pasteurize, cooled down, feed the baby, and wait. 5 minutes it stayed down. 10 minutes it stayed down. 15 minutes it stayed down. We have a winner. Old Blue will feed the baby.

Sometime dad said the reason he was so smart was because someone dropped him on his head when he was a baby. Dad was very smart and had a photographic memory something I missed out on but son Carl has the memory. My dad graduated from the Army’s OCS, officer candidate school, where about 50% failed and went to the front lines in North Africa at that time.

Back to the story, dad had bad teeth. They were soft and would not hold a filling very long. The dentist all told him that he must have had a high fever when he was a child that caused the soft teeth. I don’t know when but he had most of his molars removed and had partial plates made so he could chew his food. He couldn’t eat without the partials. I was about 7 when one morning getting ready for school I noticed dads partial plates still in the soaking glass. I said something to mom and she didn’t know why dad had left his teeth home.

That evening mom asked dad about the teeth and he said he just forgot them but he didn’t put them in to eat supper and mom heated some soup for him to eat. The mystery continued for a couple more days and then finally on day three mom laid the law down. Why aren’t you wearing your partials? Did you break them? Are we going to have to buy new ones? We can’t afford to buy new ones! You know they cost lots of money!

Now dad with a sheepish grin said they are not broke but I haven’t been able to wear them because I had an accident. The other morning I had brushed the partials and was putting them in when I sneezed real hard and the plates flew out and went into the john. He went on to say that it took about 10 minutes before he could reach in and retrieve them and to scrub them again. However, he never said whether it was before or after he flushed. But to no avail no matter how hard or long he scrubbed them he could not put them in his mouth.  Even this morning which is day 3 I still could not put them in my mouth after scrubbing them for 20 minutes. Later that evening he managed to get the partials installed and from then on the toilet lid was always down when he installed his partials. Now almost 70 years later I have 2 partials and the toilet lid is always down when I install them.

Thanks for listening,

Richard Isley

The Crotchety Old Man

Edited and approved by Linda

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